A standing ovation?

I think it's about time I went back to writing in my journal/diary. I would never tire of putting down my thoughts and feelings into words.

I'm just not so sure if I don't mind other people knowing about it.

You see, making a blog private can be quite pointless. When people ask for permission and a small part of you may wish that the particular person did not ask for it but yet you just can't deny the person outright, well.. it sort of defeats the purpose in the end, doesn't it?

And also, certain.. experiences make me want to put up my defences even higher.. hopefully, I won't be so vulnerable anymore.

And even if I still remain vulnerable, why would I want people to know about it? Giving a person the key to knowing how to break you is just.. dumb. I don't want that to happen.

So yes maybe this blog will not die completely, I can't really bear to part with this "channel" for my random thoughts or interests.. it's a small but nevertheless somewhat rejuvenating hobby of mine. But I don't think it will really be the same..

I feel like a different person.. changing. I dunno if it's for better or for worse.. but yeah, like Noah Bennett tells Claire in that "annoying-Heroes-Season3-commercial-that-is-always-played-in-between-Idol-breaks" : College is the place for reinventing yourself.

I have learned how to differentiate between the different kinds of friends in life - there are the ones to keep, treasure and remember, then there are those to keep at an arm's length and converse with on a superficial "mutualism" level, and lastly, there are those whom are best ignored and completely erased from your mind.
That was quite a show. Very entertaining.
Aiiih. I'm becoming more of a cynic everyday. Not surprising given the fact that I have realised how often and in how many ways I have either been used or pushed around.